thougths from somebody way smarter than me

i know, i know, i've been writing about money a lot lately. HERE's one post in case you missed it.

but these thoughts about money aren't my own. these are just some of my fav from Andy Stanley's book Fields of Gold. you should definitely go get it and read it. you can even borrow it from me if you want.

enjoy...

“Any fear associated with giving to God’s kingdom is irrational. It’s on par with a farmer who, out of fear of losing his seed, refuses to plant his fields.”

American Christians give less today to the church than we did during the Great Depression! 

[WHAT!? holy crap. that's crazy. how is that even possible?]

**The thing to fear isn’t giving away too much, but giving too little.
[yep.] 

“If you truly believe everything belongs to God, then you have nothing to fear after all. And if God is the source of all wealth and He controls the comings and goings of your money, then there’s no reason not to give.”

[just think about that for a minute]

“So whenever God blesses us with more than we need, we see it as an opportunity to insure our future or to guarantee our next meal, while all along, God meant it as an opportunity for us to give more.”

i love this phrase that Andy uses = "FEARLESS giving." i like it.

*Andy thinks the amount of money entrusted to you in your life often depends on how well you steward what you have. i agree in principle.

“I’m afraid to sow my seed because then I won’t have the seed anymore.” = insane

“This is powerful news for anyone who’s afraid to give because of financial insecurity. It suggests that the wisest move we could make financially is to begin sowing our financial seed. When we do, God gets involved in our finances. And that’s the most financially secure place we could be.”

Andy asks an AWESOME Question – “why in the world would God drain you of your resources and then not replenish them to accomplish what He’s committed to doing?”

while reading this book i was inspired to do something i hadn't done very often = PRAY and ask God to be involved in our finances!

this is SO SIMPLE! God doesn’t give us a % or amount to give. No pressure. Just “not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

God eliminates giving reactively or out of guilt. In other words, if that’s how you feel about giving, God says, “That’s OK, you just keep it. I’ll use somebody else’s.”

AWESOME = just so nobody can possibly pressure you into it!

great little book. i hope you enjoyed the highlights.

money money money

i think (& Scripture teaches pretty plainly) God likes to fund His mission through people.

He doesn't have to, but that's the way He works it.

He blesses people with the money that He gives to them SO THAT they will be a blessing & bless others with that same money. so that they will be a blessing by funding God's mission in the world with that money He blessed them with.
then He blesses them with even more money. and so they give away more. and then God blesses them with more. and they give away more. etc... etc...
this all seems pretty straight forward to me.

i'm not a fan of the prosperity gospel. in fact i'm the opposite of a fan. whatever that is. i think it's not the gospel. i've made my thougths about that pretty clear before & i echo THIS on that topic.
but i realize that what i'm saying here & what the Bible teaches throughout borders on the line of "prosperity gospel".

i'm saying & i believe that Scripture teaches that God blesses me based on how i give. God blesses me with money in proportion to how i bless others with the previous money He blessed me with.

and i know the televangelists & prosperity gospel peeps may sound eerily similar as they get on TV & tell us to send them $1,000 and God promises to send them back $2,000 or something like that.

& maybe there's not a lot of difference between the 2 other than that Scripture seems to be talking to people who aren't trying to get rich off of giving back to God. it seems to be more about the motive in the heart. a desire to be a blessing. a heart like "sure, ok, You want to bless me more... then i'll just give away more." if you're giving for the purpose of getting rich... to exploit this system God has set up... i just don't know that it works that way.
pretty sure it doesn't.

but i'll be honest - i've been trying it out for a long time now - and still taking steps forward. i read God's promises about that and think "really, God? how far are you gonna go with this?" because so far the more we give, the more God backs up the dump truck of blessings and dumps more on us. you better believe that gives me the confidence and courage and faith to keep giving more and more... knowing that God promises to bless with more and more.

*but don't take my word for all this. it's a principle that God established. it's how God designed His world to work.

Paul writes about it eloquently. the context for this passage below is all about Paul talking to these peeps in Corinth about giving their money to the poor... funding God's mission in the world... blessing others with their money. as he's talking to them about giving he just wants to remind them about a principle...

⁶ "Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. ⁷ Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. ⁸ And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. ⁹ As it is written:

“They have scattered abroad their gifts to the poor;
    their righteousness endures forever.”

¹⁰ Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. ¹¹ You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

¹² This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. ¹³ Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, people will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else."

(2 Corinthians 9:6-13)

i don't think i can say it any more clearly than that.

it's as simple as SEEDS. if you have 10 seeds and plant 5 - do you have less or more than you started with? well, you have MORE of course. whatever you planted is going to grow and produce tons more of those seeds.
Paul says God designed giving & planting seeds to work the same.

wow.

obviously we don't believe that. or we would give like we planted.
how often do you see a farmer or a gardener plant 10% of his seeds and keep 90% for himself? he would be an idiot.
just sayin'

you PLANT seeds because that's what they're FOR. 
and you give away money because that's why you've been blessed with it. that's what it's FOR.

so, i just can't picture someone giving away all their money to bless others/fund God's mission & then God not blessing them with more to give away.
that's how He likes to fund His mission in the world.

everyone reading this blog is rich. no doubt. don't even argue. if you're sitting in front of a computer or phone or iPad with an internet connection reading this then you are RICH. and Paul says that the whole reason you've been made rich is "SO THAT you can be generous on every occasion!"

AND it's something that actually "accompanies your confession of the gospel." is that confession a little worthless without this generosity to accompany it?

i love the way Luke puts it:
"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

i can remember my Mom and my Dad talking about this one a lot when i was a kid - they would compare it to the way you fit the most leaves into a trash bag. you can fit way more when you press it down, shake it together, etc... "you can't outgive God" they would say.

i don't think it matters how much money you have. just give. you've been blessed. bless others with it.
whether you make $100 a week or $1 million a week - be generous. give it away.

we are MESSED up when it comes to money. we are MESSED up bad.

it's good to make money. it's just dumb to keep it. who do you think God is going to bless with more money? the person blessing others/funding His mission with it or the person using it on themselves?
just sayin'.


as always, renown is a place for me to hash out some thoughts. take ideas and things in my head and actually process them. i fully recognize that i'm probly wrong about a lot of stuff. i would really like to know if i am WRONG in my thinking about this?
am i way off here?
i'm actually asking someone to point that out if i am. tell me.

(i'm not asking - do we live like we think this is true? - because NO! of course we don't. when we truly believe this we will give 90% and live on 10%.)

i'm just wondering if i'm crazy? i don't think so, but the crazy person never thinks he is.
do you feel me?
or you hatin?

what do you think?

belong - behave - believe

The world as "we" (Modern West) have known it for the past couple hundred years has operated in a pretty similar pattern for most Groups:

believe - behave - belong

my experience is mainly with the Church & specific churches, but i am speaking more broadly about groups in all parts of our culture.

this is generally the way things have worked when you are going to be a part of some group or organization. DEFINITELY this is the way it has worked in churches.

if you want to be a part of "us", 1st you need to BELIEVE. you need to believe what we believe. that comes 1st.
specifically in churches, you need to believe in Jesus. you need to believe that and maybe even some other important doctrines before you can even begin to THINK about belonging to our group.

This couldn't possibly be any clearer as most churches pretty much straight up say, if you want to be a member of our church you must 1st BELIEVE. that's the very minimum requirement.

but really there was another step in this system in Modernity. you couldn't just believe and then you belonged... really you had to BEHAVE before you could belong.

you need to act, dress, talk, walk, understand, fit in, and generally BEHAVE like the rest of the in group BEFORE you could be "in." before you could truly belong.

anyone alive who has ever been a part of a church knows this. this is just how it works in the Modern religious world. you don't truly belong unless you behave a certain way - like all the rest of us. then we'll let you belong.

<*MAYBE some in the Modern Church would argue it was more like "believe - belong - behave." in that a person was truly accepted into belonging after they believed something and then they could take their time in learning to behave. i respectfully disagree.>

but once you finally make it... once you finally believe the right stuff & then behave the right way... You're in! you're finally in. you belong now. and you also become one of the "in crowd" to forever perpetuate this system.

i happen to think that's all pretty jacked up.

especially because it perpetuates forever. that is, as long as Modernity sticks around as the dominant way the world operates.

but things are changing. some would say they've already changed... there are just Modernity's fragments hanging on in corners of the Western world. but no doubt, postmodernity is coming.

and postmodernity doesn't quite embrace INDIVIDUALISM the way that Modernity did. the individual will not be king in this new world. there will be a huge priority on BELONGING.

in that old system of believe - behave - belong someone maybe wanted to belong, but there were just too many barriers.
the world will necessarily change though.

this is what the new system will be (if it hasn't changed already when we weren't looking)  :

belong - behave - believe

yep. exactly the opposite.

when someone wants to be a part of some group in this new world - they will simply be welcomed. the group, organization, or whatever will welcome them in.

then eventually they'll start to "behave" - look, act, dress, talk, etc... like everyone else in the group. & eventually, they will believe. believe that certain things are important - the same things that the rest of the group believes are important.

then they're "in." but they felt "in" long ago... because they belonged. 

and being able to first belong actually ENABLED them to then behave and believe!

the Church will follow suit. no longer will you need to behave and believe a certain way to "belong" to a community in a local church. you will be welcomed with open arms and you will BELONG simply because you are. simply because you are curious, or because you have a desire to "belong" in community.

the beautiful thing is that this new way of the world will enable TONS of "outsiders"... people who don't believe and behave like Christians in the church to BELONG first. slowly, they'll begin to see that the way the others in this community are behaving is very attractive. it appeals to them. this Jesus way of life actually appears to be a better way to live. and they'll start to follow suit.

and then... yep, you guessed it - they will believe. it will be real. it will be personal. Jesus will capture their heart and be their Savior.

too bad the Church didn't figure this out 300 years ago. because Jesus made it pretty clear.
and even before Jesus ever showed up, God, in the Old Testament chose a people & simply asked them to "join" Him. be a part of His movement. just follow Him. it wasn't until after they did that that most of them believed.
And Jesus' example - when He called each of His apostles... He just said "come follow Me." just be a part of what i'm doing. come join me. yeah, you can belong.

how preposterous! Jesus didn't even ask them what they believed 1st? whoa.
slowly they're behavior all changed and started to be more and more like Jesus. they saw that it was way better that way.
and it wasn't until way way later that Jesus finally asks them - what do you believe? or "who do YOU say that I am?" & Peter says "You are the Messiah... the Anointed One... the Son of God!"

YES!

it's hard to know that you can believe until you belong.

that's why i love being a part of Ridge Church. one of our mantras... one of the things we set out to do with this thing we call Ridge is to create a place, a church, a community where people can belong BEFORE they believe. and it's happening.
i wrote a lot about that with Ridge specifically HERE.

so, i'm thankful that postmodernism will actually force our churches to change. but i'm even more thankful that Ridge has been doing this from day 1. i'll end this post with an echo of the words i wrote in that post about this a few years ago...

"i want to be a part of the place where people have no problem belonging way before they believe. a church FULL of peeps who are walking with us, hanging out with us, before they even know what they fully think about God. that's beautiful. that's what i signed up for."

grace (repost)

(This was originally posted to renown on March 27, 2010.)

“It’s a mind-blowing concept that the God who created the universe might be looking for company, a real relationship with people, but the thing that keeps me on my knees is the difference between grace and karma. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I have received much more than I deserve.” 

– Bono 

*Right on, Bono. He's my favorite rock star, but sometimes (like when he says stuff like this) he's my fav person to sum up BIG, incomprehensible things... like grace for instance.
I'm right with ya too, Bono. Grace DOES defy reason and logic.  

That's why it's so beautiful and so breathtaking!

And I think he speaks for all of us when he says "I have received much more than I deserve." we all have.

I am beginning to learn (and Chris Seay has done a great deal to teach me much more recently) that we can see grace and beautiful pictures of the Gospel weaved through things in our culture... even pop culture... even things like the TV show LOST. So in Seay's book, The Gospel According to Lost, after he quotes Bono he goes on to write...

⇒ “The moment we shift our focus from entitlement (getting what we deserve) to grace (celebrating the reality that we have received forgiveness and love that we could never earn and do not deserve), we become less like the older brother [in Luke 15] and are welcomed to a great feast at the Father’s table.”

God, let me grasp GRACE as much as my finite mind is able to. And let me simply celebrate in it... even though I don't deserve it and could do nothing to earn it. 

grace.

it's so good.  

mentored by dead guys

(This was originally posted to renown on March 15, 2010.)

A few years ago I heard a pastor say "I need to be mentored by more dead guys." I've remembered that and tried to implement it into my reading/learning habits and read several books from dead guys each year. That's definitely the case this year as "Dead guys" was a whole category on my 2010 reading list which you can see HERE.

Right now I'm reading The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis. He was born in the 1300s and wrote this masterpiece in the 1400s. He was a medieval mystic - I have read those guys before and am always rejuvenated in my devotion to Jesus when I read what they have to say!

One of the greatest things I am reminded of is how crazy busy my life is and how much better I can connect to God if I simply slow down a little, take a deep breath, and create a little space for Him to invade my soul.

I completely understand where (Steven James) the writer of the intro to this translation of Imitation is coming from when he wrote: "I've been to monasteries several times on four-day silent retreats. After about twenty minutes I've had all the deep spiritual insights I can take. I start frantically looking around for a computer to check my email. I wouldn't make a very good monk."
Haha, that's totally me!

Thomas a Kempis says "he who does not try to become the least, the servant of all, cannot be at peace for very long."
I definitely need to hear stuff like that. Most of us know that climbing the corporate ladder and pushing our way to be on top doesn't really satisfy or make us happy... but we still do it anyway. We know it doesn't bring peace... just more stress. But, for some reason it's what we pursue. Those CEOs are the ones we imitate instead of Christ.

And I really love hearing a Kempis talk about "living it" over "learning it" = "What good does it do to speak learnedly about the Trinity if, lacking humility, you displease the Trinity?... I would rather feel contrition than know how to define it. For what would it profit us to know the whole Bible by heart and the principles of all the philosophers if we live without the grace of God?"

I think my heart is already beating at a slower, healthier pace and I am satisfied resting in God. I'm stoked about being mentored by this really old mystic monk! (He would currently be 630 years old!)

What dead guys are mentoring you?

"God, Whoever You are..."

maybe when we talk to God we should start by addressing Him -
"God, Whoever You actually are..." & then continue...

just as a "footnote" to denote we really don't know who God is... we're just fumbling for different representations in our minds of Who He is.
the name "God" is of course inadequate for Who He actually is. it's just the best we have (for now).

This was actually C.S. Lewis' footnote to all prayers:
"He whom I bow to ONLY knows to whom I bow"
[wow. He is the ONLY one who knows WHO He is... none of us truly do. how could we?]

so since we don't know exactly who "He" is, we...
"embrace in heart Symbols (I know) which cannot be the thing Thou art."

– C.S. Lewis, “Footnote to All Prayers” (a very short poem you can read HERE.)

yes, pray in confidence and talk to God as if He is sitting next to you on the couch. because He is. & that's how i talk to Him.

as long as we realize this is an appropriate footnote (to keep in the back of our minds) to every prayer.


i can remember in 1 of my 1st theology classes in seminary, my prof said something like this the very 1st day... "remember - theology is just our best attempt to say something about God. it's not really who God is... it's just our educated guess."

i loved David Crowder's analogy for his album a while back A Collision. Sixsteps sent me some promo stuff back then and part of it was an explanation of the discography that you see pictured to the left. Crowder talked about that diagram of the atom. it's just a diagram. that's not REALLY what an atom looks like. it's just our best idea. our best representation.
& that's exactly what our worship is doing. it's our best effort to lift up who God is. Who we think He is at least. 

theology is our best representation too. even the name "God".

it's the best we can do.

so, when we pray we use familiar symbols (like Lewis and Crowder mentioned) - like Father, God, King, Lord, and so on. 
but we must be careful with this because, we may falsely assume that our idea of God is identical to God. 
that the real God ‘out there’ is no bigger and no different from the idea we have ‘in here’ in our heads.

so, our symbols & familiar language carry with them our own distortions—concepts of God that are partial at best, misleading at worst.

we have to remember that our best symbolic representations [just like the atom] are in the end merely "frail images" of God, images that "cannot be the thing" that God is.

[but we still desperately need these images. and we need LOTS of different ones. but more on that another time.]

(thanks to Brian McLaren for giving me better articulation for this idea i've felt in my heart for a long time.)

“Whatever the reality actually is to which the word or name ‘God’ points, we know that God’s reality must always be far higher and greater and other than our concepts and images of God—even our best concepts and images.” 

- Brian McLaren

yes. YES. YES! that sums it up perfectly.

amen.

and that makes us feel really good.

because it puts us in our place.

it makes us feel so small as we realize our best efforts to understand who God is are simply cracking the tip of the iceberg.

and that realization will do wonders in your soul.

it has in mine.

another miracle for my Mom

i just learned earlier this week about another miracle in my Mom's lung transplant journey.

all along the BIG problem and worry was my Mom's new lungs working. there were all kinds of breathing problems, etc...
when she was on that ECMO machine especially - it was... is she even going to live?

but a while back they noticed she couldn't really move her legs. she had severe muscle atrophy + something else a lot worse that i definitely can't pronounce or even attempt to spell... it affects the nerves and messes them up.

to me at the time this seemed like a very minor issue. like, who cares if my Mom can't walk right now... she needs her lungs to work so she can live. we can worry about walking later.

well, come to find out the Doctors & Physical Therapy team said back then that there was a decent chance my Mom would never walk again.

wow.

i had no idea.

and here now she is walking laps around her hospital unit.

miracle.
blessing.

thanks God.

props to You.

more renown all up on You.

new lungs & kingdom

God didn't make lungs to go bad and get all diseased like my Mom's did.

he made everything good.

and then it all got jacked up.

there's really 2 ages of time:
1) the one that's been going for thousands of years... it's the one that's jacked up. lungs go bad and people get really sick, etc...
2) and then there's the coming age where everything will be restored and made right.

but ever since Jesus showed up, something crazy and awesome happened. those 2 ages started to blend together. that coming perfect age isn't fully here on earth yet, but we're not just stuck in the old age either because we catch glimpses of that "world made right".
the earth is being restored and you can see it in action sometimes.

Jesus said "I am making everything new." and He is. and we celebrate when we see glimpses of it. those glimpses are the Kingdom of God breaking in. it's a revolution happening now & it's a glimpse of what's coming...

2 new lungs for my Mom is a glimpse of the Kingdom of God. it's not fully here yet or else her lungs would have never gone bad in the 1st place. but it's restoration. it's a glimpse of something that was broken being made new.

and it's beautiful.

Kingdom. making all things new.

God did this for the sake of His fame.
i know, i know... a fancy lung transplant Doctor with a degree from Harvard who now works at Duke named Dr. Lin did the surgery that gave my Mom new lungs. he's an agent of the Kingdom.

high five Dr. Lin & all you Doctors & nurses who have been taking care of my Mom. you are awesome and i'm so thankful for you. but i'm giving God the cred for this. he gets the glory. His renown is spreading because of this.

ever since i was a little kid i've been praying that God would miraculously heal my Mom.
why "miraculously"? because that's the only way, the Doctors said. nothing they could really do for her.
at some point, when i "got it", i started praying that God would heal my Mom (yes for our joy, but ultimately) for His renown. to make Him look awesome. a miracle healing would certainly do that right?

so, which is more of a miracle? instant miraculous healing with no explanation?
OR giving man the tools, genius, and resources to develop this radically new idea of being able to Transplant someone else's lungs into another human body! in order to save their lives?

that's pretty crazy to me.

you tell me, which is the miracle? God healing my Mom miraculously and instantaneously?
OR somehow (beyond Doctors' explanations) keeping her alive these last 10 years until technology, science, and medicine caught up and developed the ability to do a double lung transplant?

my Mom's going to be like a new person. she'll have a new life.

this isn't just another day at the office.

this is Kingdom. God is making all things new. it's breaking in.

and i've had a front row seat for it.

and we can get really excited and praise Him for it.

i know i am.

environment is everything

Because of a class i'm in this semester i've had to immerse myself (quite literally) in the world of Paul. Paul i-don't-know-his-last-name... but the Apostle guy. who wrote all those letters.

yeah... that guy. 

it's been pretty amazing and i've learned a ton. 

one thing that's sticking in my head today is that the environment was very important to Paul. that's not a comment on whether or not he was a tree hugger... i'm just saying the context or environment within which he engaged people with the gospel was a big deal.

i had to read a ridiculous amount of books for the class and here are a few sentences that are still sticking with me from this guy named Schnabel:

 “Paul did not expect people to come to him: he went to the places where people lived.” 

 

“For people to hear the gospel, they will have to be sought out in places where they are willing to listen to discourses and are willing to engage in conversations.”

it's really obvious when put like this, but a lot of times we don't consider our environment when talking to people about really important stuff.

today, where are people willing to listen to discourses & willing to engage in conversations? 

Paul figured it the answer and went and did it.

have we? 

shocking stats

(i originally wrote and posted this to renown on February 18, 2010.)

my Pastor is awesome. He's not only my pastor, but he's also my boss... & my mentor. I'm honored to stand behind him and serve with him & I've learned so much from him these past few years.
He is a great man. He loves God + is a brilliant and corageous leader.

But I still pray for him constantly. I pray that God puts His hand on him and makes him an even greater and godlier leader. I pray that God protects him from Satan's attacks. I pray for his wife and kids. I pray that he can stay strong for the whole marathon.

Because I know that great men and women fall all the time. The statistics are dramatically against my pastor (and me, and your pastor) over the long haul. 

These are 2 sets of stats below that are nothing short of SHOCKING.
[My thoughts and comments are in brackets]

-  Pastors who work less than 50 hours a week are 35% more likely to be fired

-  Church peeps expect their pastors to juggle an average of 16 major tasks

-  Pastor has greatest impact in years 5-14, but average only lasts 5 years

-  40% report a serious conflict with a person in their church at least once per month.
[hey church peeps, how bout get off your pastor's back!]

-  80%of pastors believe that pastoral ministry affects their families negatively

-  75% have had a significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry

-  50% feel unable to meet needs of the job

-  40% of pastors say they’ve considered leaving their pastorates in last 3 months. [whoa! i wonder what % consider it once a week?]

-  33% confess inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in their church [that is crazy]

-  20% say they view porn at least once per month

-  51% say internet porn is possible temptation [I'm just curious here... what do the other 49% say? That it's NOT a temptation!? That's the half I'd be worried about. those pastors gotta sign up for XXXchurch ASAP!] & 37% say it’s a constant struggle

-  13% have been divorced

-  80% say they have insufficient time with their spouse

-  66% pastors & families feel pressure to model the ideal family to their congregations & communities

-  70% don’t have a close friend! [that sucks]

-  90% feel they’re inadequately trained to cope with ministry demands

-  45% say they’ve experienced depression or burnout to the extent that they needed  to take a leave of absence from ministry.

(I read these stats from Mike Erre who got them from H.B. London, Jr. & Neil B. Wiseman, Pastors at Greater Risk: Real Help for Pastors from Pastors Who’ve Been There)

(The stats below are from Mark Driscoll & are at The Resurgence)

-  1,500 pastors leave ministry each month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout, or contention in their churches

-  50% of pastors’ marriages will end in divorce [that is unbelievable!!! 50/50 chance you'll get divorced if you're a pastor. scary. that's messed up. but i guess it's 50/50 for every person... pastors are no different.]

-  80% & 84% of their spouses feel unqualified & discouraged in their role

-  50% are so discouraged they would quit if they could but have no other way of getting income

-  80% of seminary & Bible college grads who enter ministry will leave within 1^st5 years

-  70% constantly fight depression

-  almost 40% said they’ve had an affair since beginning their ministry

-  80% of wives wish their spouse would choose another profession

“The majority of pastor’s wives surveyed said that the most destructive event that has occurred in their marriage and family was the day they entered the ministry.”

[wow! that hurts & is really scary. God, may that never be true in our lives!]

My heart just hurts after reading those! My heart is breaking.

I think there's only 1 thing to say after all that = PRAY for your Pastor!
Pray that God protects him from these attacks on his life and family! Pray that God renews and rejuvenates him so that he can be at the top of his game. Pray for his wife and kids. Pray that God will help you back him and be the kind of support he needs!

I know i need some peeps praying for me. Because i plan on being in this for the rest of my life. I want to be part of a revolution... But i am desperately dependent on God's grace to keep me and my wife from being any of these statistics!!!

DO YOU PRAY FOR YOUR PASTOR? 

WOWed by these benefits (repost)

(i originally wrote and posted this to renown on February 8, 2010.)

This is such an awesome song I read the lyrics to on Friday. I have been thinking about it ever since. I read it again today and still can't get away from it.

It was written by this songwriter guy named David. Maybe you've heard of him? It goes like this:

"Praise the LORD, my soul;
       all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Praise the LORD, my soul,
       and forget not all his benefits—

who forgives all your sins
       and heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit
       and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisfies your desires with good things
       so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

The LORD works righteousness
       and justice for all the oppressed." - Psalm 103:1-6

I am seriously WOWed by these benefits from God. Just look at that. I'm blown away and have been for 4 days in a row now. I can't move on from this song. I'm just reveling in awe of who this God is.

And if that weren't enough, the song goes on to say this about our God:

"The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
       slow to anger, abounding in love." (Psalm 103:8)

I really don't feel like there's a whole lot i need to say (or can say). Just dwell on this song with me. I'm still just basking in the awesomeness of it.

I wish I had some musical talent and I would write some music for it... Maybe David or Scottie or somebody will do that one day?

update on my Mom's new lungs

it doesn't feel like there are a lot of updates to give, although a lot has happened in the past few days.

The biggest news to us i think is that my Mom will be in ICU for months. that was not expected at all to me. i don't think my Dad expected that either.
not great news at all, but i would rather know that to prepare myself.

They have tried taking her off ECMO (the heart-lung machine) a couple times and it hasn't quite worked out yet. getting her off of ECMO would definitely be a good step.

they did take her off the heart pump though.

she had been having some internal bleeding and they did get that stopped too.

Getting this fluid off of her lungs is probably the biggest issue right now.

and her Kidneys started to have problems too so they put her on a type of dialysis.

they also put a trache in a few days ago which her vent is now attached to. and i think they are going to put in a feeding tube soon as well.

probably the hardest news to swallow was that 2 other lung transplant patients that have been on the ICU hall there with my Mom both died this past week.

it's all so much to handle. not sure how anyone might carry it all without Somebody to lean into... without Someone to trust in. Someone to trust in Who knows what's up even more than these Doctors do.
Dumping some cares on That Guy i trust in daily.

and i still have absolute hope that the God we've trusted in this far will heal my Mom. i believe that one day my Mom will be running in the backyard chasing her granddaughter, Keira... with an awesome pair of new lungs.

ups and downs

it feels like it's been a long journey already. and it's only been like 5 days.

Today the Doctors found out my Mom has 2 infections they need to get out of her lungs. they are what's causing her lungs not to work well. Plus all that fluid they need to drain.

Plus they're going to trache her and run the vent through that.

it feels like a long journey already and it's going to be much longer. my Mom will probably be in the ICU for a while.

it's been an up & down, high & low emotional journey.

The highs are when my Mom is alert and we can talk to her and she understands and tries to communicate back. we can see her personality come through.
i showed her pics of Keira and she smiled, tried to giggle, pointed, etc... she was loving it. those times are awesome.

but when we hear that she wakes up and we're not there & she's is scared. i hate that.

when i walk into her room and see her hooked up to 15 machines and all these lines and tubes and realize they're just keeping her alive. it looks like nothing i've even seen in the movies. it's pretty disheartening. it's scary and i hate it.

when i talk to her one day and ask if she remembers talking to me and Dad the day before... and she shakes her head "no"... pretty disheartening. feels like we're stepping into 50 First Dates. but of course that's only because of the meds she's on.

but then when she DOES remember talking to us/seeing us. that's pretty cool.

ups and downs. i guess that's what it will be for a while. i'm just hoping and praying for the day when she gets to go "home" there in Durham. or at least out of the ICU. it's still a long recovery from there, but at least this battle will be won.


and of course there are my other fears i dare not mention out loud or in writing. the fears and emotions i only talk to God about in the moments i'm pouring out my heart.

He gets it.

He's even "been there" in some way.

so i beg for mercy. for healing.

i beg for God to act in a way that heaps glory back onto Him.

for God to act in a way that makes people say "Wow"... their God is awesome.

for God to "boost" His renown through this situation.

but i know God is good. no matter what. that's just who He is.

detailed update on my Mom's lung transplant

(This post is from Crystal. She is a lot better at explaining details than me. heading over to see my Mom again right now.)

Today (yesterday) was a little bit rougher than yesterday for Edith. The new lungs are not quite ready to work on their own yet. It's hard to say what is expected at this point because there is no "normal" for this. She is on 40% oxygen & is occasionally, but not regularly breathing over the ventilator. Her heart has been having to work harder than normal & she has had some trouble keeping her blood pressure up. Around 4pm she was put on a intraaortic balloon pump (IABP) to help give her heart some rest. Her blood pressure had come up some later in the evening. Earlier in the day they had turned off her sedation drip, but had to restart it this evening when they did the IABP. Gary got a call around 11pm from the hospital letting him know that they were going to put her on ECMO tonight.
I'm trying to give more details than facebook status updates allow for, but it's quite difficult as there is so much going on and most is pretty difficult to explain (I'm digging in my brain way back to nursing school for most of this stuff). For those of you who want to get a mental picture, here it goes. She has the following... ventilator, multiple central lines, foley, 2 chest tubes, 2 JP drains, IABP, oral gastric tube, peripheral IV, cooling blanket, and probably several more things that i'm forgetting about.

Specific things to pray for:
•Cardiac index to improve- should be above 2 & hers has been between 1.6-1.8

•Temperature to come down- she seems to be running a low grade temp. Blood & sputum cultures were sent last night & today to check for infection.

•Lungs to work fully on their own!!

•Pain- she seems to be comfortable while sedated, but i cannot imagine the pain she would be in while awake.

update on my mom's new lungs

from about 8PM Friday night until after 4AM Saturday morning a team of surgeons took out every little piece of my Mom's old diseased lungs. The doctors said the old lungs were so bad and diseased (they used the word "friable") that when they just touched them they crumbled to pieces and fell apart. so they had to spend hours just making sure they scraped out every little piece of the old diseased lungs so there wouldn't be anything left to corrupt the good ones...
then they transplanted these 2 life giving lungs in their place and put her back together.

it was crazy hard waiting all night to hear something! my Dad didn't sleep at all... just waiting. hard to sit and wonder if things are going well or not. i remember just kind of pacing... wondering when we would hear.

but the tranpslant was a success! my Mom has finally received the perfectly matching pair of lungs.
so for that we celebrate! finally my Mom is rid of those lungs that have plagued her for a lifetime. she has a chance to start over. thanks to God. we've trusted Him for this & He gets thanks and glory from us for this.

I do feel kind of a tension between wanting to celebrate fully - that "YES! it's finally over & everything is good" kind of celebration
VS.
still not being totally out of the woods yet.

not sure if that makes any sense to anyone? it feels like i exhaled a little but i'm still holding my breath a little at the same time.

i walked in to see her after the transplant and it was a little shocking. she must have been hooked up to about 800 different tubes and machines running all up and down her body. A Ventilator running into her mouth + blood draining out everywhere. she is swolen all over. her hands and head for example seem to be TWICE their normal size.
i've seriously never seen anyone hooked up to so much stuff. tough to see my Mom this way.

so it seems a little too early to say whether everything will all go perfect or not. so i want to celebrate this huge step and I DO celebrate it. i'm pumped. but still kind of just waiting to see if she can come through all this.

How is she doing?

great Q :)  i'm a big picture guy so i don't remember all the details the doctors and nurses are telling us. so, if you're a detail person, i apologize. you should probably talk to my wife or Dad... they can tell you all the fancy terms and technical stuff... here's the big pic:

she looked and was doing not all that great Saturday. but later in the day around 5 or 6pm she made a massive turnaround. all her stats came up a lot and she woke up for about 5 minutes. That's when my Dad and I got to talk to her. we told her we loved her & she had some new lungs :)

she smiled - as best as she could with tubes coming out of her mouth.

we told her about all these tons and tons of friends and people like YOU praying for her.

i told her that Keira started giggling this week and showed her a pic Crystal had just texted me of Keira giggling. she smiled really big then!

i think she was feeling pretty good at that point. (she ought to be - she's getting the good stuff.) she could squeeze our hands, wiggle her feet, and shake her head.

she went downhill today. her stats were back down. she'll probably stay in ICU a while. her new lungs aren't really working yet. right now they kicked us out of her room so they can hook up a balloon pump to her heart. it's gonna pump the blood for her heart i guess. soon they're going to give her an epidural for pain once she stabilizes a little. right now they're having to keep her sedated. they say it's much more painful than open heart surgery.

the best i can tell = she's not necessarily doing "bad" but not really "good" either. there is no "normal" when it comes to double lung transplants. we're just being patient.

feels like we're just waiting again. waiting for her to improve.

but all these doctors and experts said that my Mom should not have been alive for these last 10 years. these diseases should have killed her 10 years ago. and now they're gone. along with those old worn out lungs...

so we're hopeful.
we have One Hope. the God who knows what's up. the God who keeps all our lungs working every second of every day and has kept my Mom alive all these years. the God who holds this big spinning ball of dirt together we call home...

He is our hope.

2 lungs on the way...

just heard from my Mom that there are 2 Lungs on the way to Duke Hospital specifically for her! they have to get them there & then her Doctors should know by 7pm if this is the perfect pair of lungs for my Mom. if it's a go then she will get her Double Lung Transplant. about a 10 hour procedure. i'm heading up to Duke to be there.

i wrote about this a little before HERE.

we've been praying for this for a long time. for God to heal my Mom. i'm hoping this is it.

i hope this is the miracle.

that this is the moment.

i hope that tomorrow is a new day.

i'm praying that my Mom wakes up tomorrow and it's the dawn of a new day - a new life.

God gets all the credit for that.

i love you, Mom. i'm praying this goes perfectly and pretty soon you'll be breathing like never before... and holding your new granddaughter.

how can YOU be the change? (Keira)

How can YOU be the change?

i think that's a phrase my kid(s) are going to get SICK of hearing me say. i'm thinking a lot more about parenting these days... since i am one of those now. Crystal and i are both thinking a lot more about it. we're talking about it all the time -- what kind of parents we want to be, what kinds of things we want to do for our kids, WHO we want them to be, etc...

and it's real now because Keira is here. so it's not just a nebulous idea.

but i think Keira will get sick of hearing me say to her "How can YOU be the change?"

let's say that she comes home from school & there is a kid that EVERYONE is making fun of/being mean to. the teacher didn't really seem to even care. Keira is bothered by it. i'm going to ask her - "How can YOU be the change that needs to happen?"

or maybe our neighbor has surgery and their yard is a wreck. Keira complains that it looks so ugly. "well, how can YOU be the change?"

and there are a million other examples.

EITHER:
she will get so sick of hearing me say this phrase that she will stop complaining about anything or talking about anything that isn't right in the world for fear that i will prod her to think about changing it...

OR:
she will change the world.

i hope it's the 2nd one.

and the below isn't all that related to the above but it's just a thought that i resonate with and agree with wholeheartedly. it's how i want us to parent Keira and any other kids God blesses us with...

“I want my children to grow up understanding that life with Jesus is more than just being nice, or trying not to cuss and get drunk because 'that is what good Christians do.' I want my children to be so compelled by the real Jesus that they are willing to stand with him, giving their lives to his revolution, not in order to be religious but because there is simply no more exhilarating way to live. I want my kids to see my wife and me as revolutionaries who subvert the dominant belief systems of the world, not out of religious obligation but in wholehearted response to the person of Jesus.” 

– Mike Erre (from Jesus of Suburbia)

YES! That's what i want!

summing up renown

i think if you had to sum up our whole existence
if you had to sum up this whole STORY in 1 word

it would be renown.

God wants glory - literally renown - for Himself. & on the flip side, we're only ever happy when we want it for Him too.

renown is not a Question of "if" but of "when" & "how".

i think the reason for the sky & trees & clouds & fish & bushes & mountains & oceans & galaxies & polar bears & stars & all that we see and experience is 1 renown.
that 1 renown is the whole reason for it all. it's the point.

for us to say "wow." & "Whoever made that must be flippin amazing."


so our stories (lives) exist for 1 renown too. that's the only reason we even have a story.

but, we also hijack our stories for our own "renown" and different "renowns".
   [& i use "renown" in quotations because it's not real. renown is literally unending fame & there's only 1 of those.]

"Renown" for our name.

for our company's name.

our team's name.

for our country - (wherever we may live).

but all of this "Steals" renown from the 1 ultimate renown that is the whole point of everything.

as if...

as if - because we can't ultimately "steal" renown (or else it wouldn't truly be renown), but we just trick ourselves into thinking we can steal some. but all we're really doing is robbing others (and ourselves) of joy, satisfaction, and the amazing, fulfilling lives we were meant to live.
that's all we're doing any time we direct anyone's attention away from the 1 renown that matters onto any other fake, wannabe "renown".

we're screwing people over.

because actually there is only 1 true renown. all other attempts don't live up. the fame ends at death... or 100 years after they're gone. OR (if you can call making it into the history books "renown") maybe it sticks for even 1,000 years or 2,000 years?  but then the clapping ends and the fame stops.
but the 1 real renown doesn't even slow down... it just gains momentum.

what is renown if we had to sum it up? it's God's glory & His Name. that's the epitome of renown.

we only even know what renown is because we understand it through God's fame. He's pretty much as famous as it gets.
should be a pic of God next to renown in the encyclopedia... just to clarify for everybody.

or at least on wikipedia. maybe one of you can help us out with that?

Unexpected Christmas Store!

check out what we (Ridge) are up to this Christmas!


Do For One from Ridge Church on Vimeo.

pretty awesome & i can't wait for the next couple weekends of blessing these families! let me know if you want to help in some way.

personal spiritual momentum

(This was originally posted to renown on November 17, 2009.)

Yesterday was Catalyst One Day in Baltimore. Actually it was like the 5th Catalyst One Day this year with Andy Stanley and Craig Groeschel all around the country. I actually mentioned it before the 1st one here. It's basically 2 awesome talks from Andy, 2 awesome talks from Craig and then a Q&A time with both of them.
I didn't get to go in Baltimore yesterday, but I did listen to the entire conference audio from the one at North Point in ATL. It was awesome!

I just want to share a few things I walked away with from one of Craig Groeschel's talks at Catlayst One Day '09 = Creating and Sustaining Personal Spiritual Momentum

I felt like the talk was directly for me. I'm one of the peeps Craig talked about who = "So often (and with pure motives because we love Jesus) we try to do MORE than we were designed to do!"
*And stemming from that reality check this next "nifty" statement was the biggest thing I needed to hear. It's my main takeaway...

"Do today what I can do today to enable me to do tomorrow what I can't do today."

Man, I so need to hear that on a regular basis. I am a futurist and can see the end goal & just wanna get there all in 1 day. It's like my wife - when she gets in "cleaning/house work mode" she wants to do a whole year's worth of stuff in 1 Saturday... and I'm like, "baby, we can only do 1 thing at a time..." I need to take my own advice sometimes.

So what can I do today (if I can't do it all)? Craig gave us all 4 suggestions:

1.   Do something to defeat my dark side

2.   Create Artificial Ministry Deadlines - this is a biggie for me, bkuz my dark side is working too much... I have to work hard to not let myself work all the time! Craig sharing his practices were so freeing for me... to hear that he makes himself stop working on a talk after a certain day. It's just done... no matter what.

3.   Delegate what someone else can do - ***And "delegate authority not responsibility!"

"Delegating responsibility creates followers, but delegating authority creates leaders."

"You will not create or retain great leaders by telling them what to do/delegating responsibility."

4.   Do something only you can do - like take time off, be a husband to my wife, and remain broken before God.

**This was awesome stuff for me! I hope it was beneficial for some of you leaders out there too!

What are some of your thoughts on these points from Craig's talk? 

How do YOU create & sustain personal spiritual momentum?