how can YOU be the change? (Keira)

How can YOU be the change?

i think that's a phrase my kid(s) are going to get SICK of hearing me say. i'm thinking a lot more about parenting these days... since i am one of those now. Crystal and i are both thinking a lot more about it. we're talking about it all the time -- what kind of parents we want to be, what kinds of things we want to do for our kids, WHO we want them to be, etc...

and it's real now because Keira is here. so it's not just a nebulous idea.

but i think Keira will get sick of hearing me say to her "How can YOU be the change?"

let's say that she comes home from school & there is a kid that EVERYONE is making fun of/being mean to. the teacher didn't really seem to even care. Keira is bothered by it. i'm going to ask her - "How can YOU be the change that needs to happen?"

or maybe our neighbor has surgery and their yard is a wreck. Keira complains that it looks so ugly. "well, how can YOU be the change?"

and there are a million other examples.

EITHER:
she will get so sick of hearing me say this phrase that she will stop complaining about anything or talking about anything that isn't right in the world for fear that i will prod her to think about changing it...

OR:
she will change the world.

i hope it's the 2nd one.

and the below isn't all that related to the above but it's just a thought that i resonate with and agree with wholeheartedly. it's how i want us to parent Keira and any other kids God blesses us with...

“I want my children to grow up understanding that life with Jesus is more than just being nice, or trying not to cuss and get drunk because 'that is what good Christians do.' I want my children to be so compelled by the real Jesus that they are willing to stand with him, giving their lives to his revolution, not in order to be religious but because there is simply no more exhilarating way to live. I want my kids to see my wife and me as revolutionaries who subvert the dominant belief systems of the world, not out of religious obligation but in wholehearted response to the person of Jesus.” 

– Mike Erre (from Jesus of Suburbia)

YES! That's what i want!

Unexpected Christmas Store!

check out what we (Ridge) are up to this Christmas!


Do For One from Ridge Church on Vimeo.

pretty awesome & i can't wait for the next couple weekends of blessing these families! let me know if you want to help in some way.

what do YOU call people when they sell you out?

(This was originally posted to renown on November 16, 2009 under the title "Friend, do what you came to do.")

wow. I read those words this morning and the floored me. I haven't gotten them out of my mind all day. (I've probably read them many times before, but for some reason today they grabbed me...)

I've been reading through the gospels over and over and over for a while. I was about to finish Matthew again this morning when I got knocked over by that phrase Jesus said.
It was when Judas came with his posse to betray Jesus. He says "W'sup Rabbi" & then kisses Him to greet Him and also point Him out. Then Jesus said it...
"FRIEND... do what you came to do."

Are you kidding me? FRIEND? Obviously Jesus knew what He was doing there. 1) because... well, He's Jesus & 2) because He straight up says "do what you came to do." so He know Judas is selling Him out.

And He still calls him friend. I couldn't help but think HOW DIFFERENT Jesus' response is compared to His followers' response when people wrong them. how different Jesus' response is from my response when peeps betray me, wrong me, sell me out, etc... I'm usually not calling them friend.
I think it's obvious that we don't follow Jesus in this kind of love because I grabbed a commentary on Matthew that happened to be nearby. It's a famous NT commentary from a famous commentator that most peeps would know if I said his name... He wrote for pages on this passage but NEVER ONCE said anything about how awesomely loving and kind and gracious it was for Jesus to call Judas "friend". He only talked about how those were the last words Judas heard Jesus say and how those words will ring in his ears while he's burning for an eternity in hell. hmmm... shows where we are as Christians I guess if that's our reaction.

but I just say -*What radical grace and love! I've been overwhelmed by it all day. What if I lived this way? What if ALL of us followers of Jesus lived this way? the way Jesus lived... what a novel idea.

Not to mention just across the page Jesus washed Judas' feet the night before he betrayed Him. Wrote a research paper on that one time and was also overwhelmed by Jesus' unconditional love for someone we would want to hate.

So, how can we be more like Jesus? how can we show radical grace & love to people who don't deserve it?

you can change the world without cartilage

this is a BRAND new perspective for me & it's changing everything. i hope it will for you too.

All of us have circumstances that suck. things that happen that aren't fun and we WISH they didn't exist. There is a broad spectrum of these things = from things out of our control to the bad decisions we have made that create crappy circumstances in our lives. ALL of them we wish we were rid of.
We all have people in our lives we wish we didn't have to deal with. we cringe when we see them coming. There is a broad spectrum of these people too = from people who have wronged us in the past to people who are straight up jerks to us to people who just simply annoy us.

think about those specific people and circumstances for YOU right now. what are they and who are they? walk away from this blog to the other side of the room for 1 minute to make sure you have this in mind then come back...

______________________________

(are you a little bit riled up or stressed out now? sorry about that.)

i'm thankful for a lot of stuff and a lot of people. i think of myself as a pretty thankful person. but it seems ludicrous, backwards, and opposite to be thankful for the crappy things and the people who are crappy to me.

but this is the brand new perspective for me. Because humility is THE most IMPORTANT thing... because it's a pretty big deal, & because it's a must for changing the world... then i want it no matter what.

& as i look back on my life - the humility i have learned has mainly come from crappy circumstances and people who were crappy to me. hasn't it been the same for you? isn't that how you learn humility?

so here's my new perspective from the old school writing (all from different chapters) of Andrew Murray:

"But let us not be discouraged [when these crappy things come]. Let us look upon every person who tries or vexes us, as God's means of GRACE, God's instrument for our purification, for our exercise of the humility Jesus our Life breathes within us."

"Accept with GRATITUDE everything that God allows from within or without, from friend or enemy, in nature or in grace, to remind you of your need of humbling, and to help you to it."

"Accept every humiliation, look upon every fellow-man who tries or vexes you, as a means of grace to humble you. Use every opportunity of humbling yourself before your fellow-men as a help to abide humble before God."

that's hard to do. it feels very opposite of what i want to do. but, if humility is what i want most then i should be REALLY thankful for the "awesome" ways it is produced in me.
so thank you to all the circumstances and people that teach me humility. I see them as GIFTS... as "means of grace". i am genuinely excited about the man they are helping me become.

i'm confident that the reason there is no cartilage in my knees today is so that i could learn some humility. i can look back and see that losing the meniscus in my right and left knee was a crappy circumstance that would shred some pride out of my life... make me a little more humble.
it's very hard to be prideful about an ability that you no longer have. if you were prideful because you were an amazing singer and you suddenly had no more voice... it would be pretty hard to be prideful about the voice you don't have.
as many times as i've been bummed about having bum knees and all the limitations and pains... i look at that crappy circumstance with Gratitude. i want humility more than "menisci".

we should be thankful because without this humility we can't change the world. You can change the world without cartilage, but not without humility.

“Until a humility which will rest in nothing less than the end and death of self; which gives up all the honor of men as Jesus did, to seek the honor that comes from God alone; which absolutely makes and counts itself nothing, that God may be all, that the Lord alone may be exalted, -- until such a humility be what we seek in Christ, above our chief joy, and welcome at any price, there is very little hope of a religion that will conquer the world.” 

(Andrew Murray, over 100 years ago)

*Mr. Murray, i wish you were here these days... we need a revolution of your words, ideas, and passion.

what are your thoughts and comments about this whole humility thing?

what will our baby BE?

crazy stoked our 1st child will be here REALLY soon. in just a couple months.



one of the things i'm probably MOST excited about in the next couple months before it gets here is that Crystal and i are gonna write what we want our child to BECOME and always focus our parenting for the next 18 years on those things.

Just 5-8 simple words like "Generous" or "Revolutionary" and focus our parenting and the experiences we provide on helping our child become that type of person.



this was an awesome suggestion from a tool we give new parents at Ridge Church in an attempt to partner with them. really thankful for that.



so, here's our rough draft. it's just an initial brainstorm list. a lot of them probably bleed over into each other. really wanna narrow these to 5-8 or even less. and would like for them to all be summed up in 1 word. would LOVE any of your thoughts!



LOVE - start with knowing he/she is LOVED by me, by Crystal.
then be overwhelmed with the amazing love of God. then pour out love to
ALL. no matter who it is = friend, family, all ethnicities, all
lifestyles, the OUTCAST, an ENEMY. live their life with the belief that LOVE WINS.



REVOLUTIONARY - radical. never satisfied with the status quo or the normal way that everyone else lives. a world changer. never worry about trying to "fit in" to an apathetic culture, but not be afraid to shake it up.



GENEROUS - i would really love our child to be a person who will GIVE, GIVE, GIVE all their lives. and if they give away too much [oxymoron]... oh well.



STORIES - i would love for our child to - from the very beginning - live a life worth telling stories about. to just GO FOR IT. go for the adventure. go have the experience. don't be timid. don't be SAFE. take RISKS. have some stories to tell.



POSITIVE - this will be a really fun challenge with the balance of power in our house with 1 eternal optimist & 1 "realist" [spelled "p-e-s-s-i-m-i-s-t"] :) haha, this will be fun. we'll see if it makes the final list. i would love our child to always believe the best... about every situation, every person, etc...



TRUST GOD - trust God no matter what. unwavering faith in a God who loves them more than they can imagine. live a life based on that radical trust.



JOY - unashamed and unbridled JOY in God. a radical pursuit of JOY in God's glory with a reckless abandon. + just a straight up enjoyment of life. it's just too short to not enjoy it. that would be silly. why do you think we're here? All about FUN all the time!



LIVE IT - authentic. just be. live. live what you believe because what you live IS what you believe. don't just talk about it, because talk is cheap. anybody can do that. live it.



THANKFUL - it's a destructive thing to not be thankful even for 1 minute. this child will have so much to be thankful for from its 1st minute on earth on... it will never catch up. it can spend a lifetime being thankful and never be thankful enough.



DREAMER - Dream BIG. not small. big vision. big goals. have a freedom to dream big and not listen to "naysayers".



RESPECTFUL - to us as parents starting out... to everyone though really.



UNIQUE - you be you. be who you are. whoever that is. i don't care. be the way God made you. Find your IDENTITY only ever and always in who God says you are in HIM.



WELCOMING - of all people all the time.



HUMBLE - this is a biggie and a toughie. i would love to help my child eradicate pride from its life. maybe it can help me. i want them to be Open Minded and never so arrogant that they think they have it figured out. i hope they never one time in life think they are "better than" anyone.



CORAGEOUS - do the right thing even if no one else is. don't back down on what you believe in. Risk! don't be afraid to FAIL. it's ok, just try it again.



SELFLESS - it's a great big world out there. lots of countries. lots of people. lots of needs. you are just one person. life is obviously NOT about you. how could we ever think that for even 1 second?



WISE - if they could somehow learn to make wise choices early on... wow.



PASSIONATE - i can't figure out another reason to wake up in the morning unless i'm passionate about something. i guess i really don't care what they end up being into - what the pursue, what activities they're involved in, what career they choose, etc.... just do whatever it is with PASSION!



RENOWN SPREADER - grow up to be a supporting cast member to the 1 renown that matters. have a desperate desire to be used by God. whatever that might look like for him/her individually.



BLESSING - we are BLESSED to be a blessing! we are so blessed & it is for no other reason than the grace of God that we are not a family living under a bridge with no food. only grace and the fact that we are blessed. so, if the reason we've been blessed so much is clearly to BE a blessing to others... why would we ever go through a day without being a BLESSING?





well, it's just a start, but we obviously have some trimming of the list to do.

people are afraid of change

i plan on changing things.

lots of things actually but let's just start with the world.

i know that may sound crazy and audacious and stupid and naive and idealistic. i say it with humility and dependence though. i'd love to start a movement that changes the world. to change the way people live... on both sides of the spectrum. to change the way the world actually works. to spark a revolution. the kind of revolutionary change that can't be stopped.

i believe it's the reason God has me on this earth. it's the reason i'm taking a breath right now.

and maybe you're with me? maybe you don't think it's so crazy... or maybe it is crazy, but you're as crazy as i am.
either way - we're in the same boat.

here's something for both of us to remember then:

when there is such cataclysmic break from the NORM there will inevitably be backlash.

just count on it. i think Jesus pretty much promised it. look back in history at every world-changing revolution. it's just the way it rolls for change agents. PEOPLE DON'T LIKE CHANGE.

“Dramatic change is perceived as a threat to the status quo, primarily because it is.”  

- Phyllis Tickle

right on to that Phyllis. right on. People don't like change because it feels like such a THREAT  to everyone's status quo way of life! and it feels like that because IT IS!

this world-changing revolutionary vision in my soul is a STRAIGHT UP THREAT to the entire status quo way of living. your vision probably is too.

but our tendency will be to dislike those people, get angry with those people, feel attacked by those people, QUIT because of their attacks, etc... BUT DON'T.

i know i'll struggle with this, but somehow we have to remember = their reaction in and of itself is not a destructive or even a malignant thing. it's just natural. it's just the way it is when change comes and status quo is overturned. it's maybe almost as if they can't even help it? they don't hate you and me, they just can't imagine a world without their current status quo.

you and i can imagine that world though. 

and it's beautiful.

it's worth everything we do to make it happen.
because somebody has to ignite the change.

kids are mean

i'm not sure who Joel is, but i saw this pic and thought out loud "sucks to be Joel."

and that sucks that it sucks to be Joel.
i don't know what Joel did or if we might all here the story and even not like Joel ourselves?

but this was written on the chalkboard in the child play area at a Caribou coffee here in Charlotte.
and seeing this really bummed me out.

because kids are REALLY mean.

i remember.

kids were really mean to me. and i was a really mean kid a lot of times too.

but I dream of a world that’s different… where “love wins”. EVEN with children!

i dream of a world where my child doesn't walk into a Caribou and see his/her name written in place of Joel's.
better yet i dream helping our child be a person who shows love and kindness instead of the opposite.

maybe it's possible. children can change.

can adults?
been mean lately?
shown love lately?

written anyone's name on a chalkboard?

success! (part 2)

ever read a book and been overwhelmed with the feeling that the author is talking directly to you? i've mentioned before that this is how it is for me with Visioneering by Andy Stanley. i don't know how to explain it other than that it's like he's having a 1 on 1 conversation with me. i don't think he would say anything differently to me if he were a very close personal friend and sitting down at a coffee shop with me giving me advice.

A couple weeks ago the words spoken to me from this book were so powerful and dead on for me that i was totally overwhelmed.

i talked about it a little bit yesterday in my preamble to success & i'm continuing it below.

i'm in this "waiting" stage - but i feel very unsuccessful in this "waiting" stage. yes, i'm praying and planning like crazy... but it feels like i've been rolling that ball up the hill for too long now.

this praying and planning stage is so difficult for me (and everyone probably) because i get confused about what success actually is!
Andy reminds me:
“There is a tendency to confuse success with the rewards of success. If I am where God wants me, fulfilling the responsibilities He has given me, I am successful.”  

*this is HUGE for me right now!

Andy's Definition of Success = “Success is remaining faithful to the process God has laid out for me.” (“Success is not the raise, the promotion, recognition, Christian home, or wonderful children. Those are simply enjoyable mile markers along the way.) Success is staying faithful to the process that contributed to those things becoming a reality.”

*So, most successful peeps are successful long before they see the fruits of their success. make sense?

success isn't about "the moment" when the vision hits it big. it's about all the tiny little moments along the way that build to "the moment". it's about all these moments where i just keep plodding along. continuing to pray and plan. rolling the ball forward.

Andy puts it another way = “You are as successful now as you will be the day you see your vision materialize.” 
WOW*** That’s freakin’ sweet! and the timing of me working through this stuff again is impeccable. as if God was behind me being able to hear this somehow...

“Confusing success with the rewards of success is one of the primary reasons people abandon their dreams.” – whoa! This is big to remember! i cannot imagine me abandoning this vision. i wouldn't know what else to do. BUT i'm not naive. i'll work hard from now on to NOT confuse success with the rewards of success.

“Waiting time is not wasted time for anyone in whom God has placed a vision… He is the master strategist.”

this sentence brought me to tears. because that is the name i need to give to God in faith right now. He is the Master Strategist. even though i can't see it He's up to something.

my praying/planning/waiting time is not wasted... He's prepping me and everything else that needs to happen to make this vision go off. He's gonna make it happen.

it's His vision anyway. what am i so worried about?

preamble to success

i've been working hard these past couple months trying to practically map out the vision God has for my life and put flesh on it. harder work than it sounds like.

when you have a RIDONCULOUS sized vision (to spark a Jesus-revolution in Africa) it's easy to feel OVERWHELMED by it. i'm finding out that this is normal. normal for me anyway. it often feels like it's taking forever and that there's not a whole lot i can do right now.
Or that things aren't quite progressing as quickly as i dreamed they would... or hoped they would... or expected they would.

And i guess the biggest tension is that i often start to think that God isn't doing things quite right. i say out loud to Him - "You put this vision in my soul... now what are You doing about it?" [and He likes to say back - "what are you doing about it?"]

so i am doing what i can do right now in this "waiting" stage. being faithful. praying. praying for favor and opportunity. every day.
and planning. planning as if i had all the resources i needed.

Still... many days it feels like "time's a wastin". OR it all just feels too overwhelmingly big... like it's never going to happen. Really, God? are You still gonna do this?

but i constantly have to remind myself that these next words are very true, so DON'T GIVE UP PATRICK, no matter how much it feels like i'm just sitting around waiting:

“I don’t know what God is up to behind the scenes of my life. I don’t know how close I am to a breakthrough. It is no accident I am where I am.”             (Andy Stanley)

in my waiting and praying and planning...behind the scenes...

GOD. IS. UP. TO. SOMETHING.

& that is encouraging to me beyond what anyone else can realize. i don't know what He's up to. it's definitely no accident i am where i am. i embrace that. i believe it.

i'm COUNTING on that.

perhaps...

call me an idealist or naive or an eternal optimist.

maybe i am.

but i still say we can dream can't we?
I believe God has dreams for this world... and I think our dreams should line up with His dreams.

i'll be 100% transparent. i have no idea what to think about war. i'm utterly confused about that topic. so i guess it's a good thing i don't have anything to do with making those kind of decisions.

but i have thought about it a lot over the past few years.

here (i think) are some great words i read a couple years ago from Brian McLaren in his amazing book about the Kingdom of God - The Secret Message of Jesus.

“If people believe that wars are necessary and justified, then wars will continue to happen. If people believe in redemptive violence..." 

[timeout: that phrase, "redemptive violence" has got to be an oxymoron, right? i'm just sayin.]

"...then violence will proliferate. But if they believe the secret message of Jesus, they will believe that there are creative alternatives to war and violence, and by the grace of God, fewer and fewer wars and less and less violence may happen as a result.

And someday, by the grace of God, PERHAPS war will go the way of slavery and colonialism—so that we can say that the kingdom of God has more fully come.”

perhaps...
perhaps one day soon.

but one day for sure war will be done. we'll beat our swords and guns into gardening tools. that will be awesome. that's the definite future when The Revolution of God fully comes.

don't forget that peacemakers are the blessed ones.
so, i guess for those who are pacifists... you could say they are wrong and naive if you want to, but at least one day they will be right. (if not already.)

God has dreams for the world. what if we could align our dreams with His and work toward making them reality.

perhaps we can.

my newest experiment

i have lots of little experiments i try from time to time. i've probably written about a few before.

my newest experiment is more than an experiment. it's more than just a temporary project. my goal is for it to become a way of life for me.

it started with a simple question:
what if i could make someone's day every day? what if i could leverage my life and my interactions with other people to make their day with a tiny, simple act of kindness. what if my kindness, my smile, my words... could (even momentarily) lift another person out of their sadness, stress, boredom, or seemingly crappy life? what if i could give a glimmer of hope?

the experiment for me has been with strangers. people i bump into every day. people i rub shoulders with, mainly when they're at work.
People who work places where their job doesn't require them to win me over. Places like McDonald's. they don't need to be nice to me (and they're usually not) because they've already won me over.

(but when i go with my wife to Destination Maternity they are all being overly [probably in a fake way] NICE... because their commission depends on it. my experiment doesn't work quite as well there.)

but what if i could walk into a McDonald's and leave it better than when i walked in. what if i could make 1 person's day who is working there. They're in the middle of an 8 hour shift and dreading the next 4 hours. what if i could somehow put a smile on their face and make the next 4 hours more enjoyable for them? or at least the next 5 minutes while i'm there.

it's more than possible. i'm having fun doing it.

and when it happens. in that little space, in that little portion of time... it's like there is such love and kindness that the Kingdom of God has broken through. it's a holy moment in the Chipotle.
The Revolution has come to the UPS store or the bank.

it's pretty fun.
in order to do this i have learned that i must set aside my stresses and my worries to focus on doling out love and kindness to them. i have to set aside my agenda... or really, this project becomes my agenda.

so, it's just one little addition to The Revolution. but it's the Kingdom nonetheless. turning a little unkindness to kindness. a time and space usually reserved for short, curt, rudeness is transformed into joy & love.

i know it doesn't seem "spiritual", but it is. i know it doesn't seem like this could really be part of the Kingdom of God, but it very much is.

it's just a little spark when 1 person does this. but WHAT IF thousands of people were experimenting this way? what if 1 million people were doing this every day all across the world?

well, that's simple. the world would be a very different place.

far from reality

check out this story and see how it lines up with reality:

A 12 year old girl moves from a rural town in Missouri to metropolitan Chicago; her father has landed a job in the city and is relocating the family just before the new school year.

On the first day of class, the girl boards the school bus; there the driver welcomes her by extending his hand to help her enter, and a little by scoots over in his seat to make room for her.

When the girl arrives at school, another helpful student shows her to her homeroom class, where she checks in with her teacher, who opens the class by introducing the young girl to everyone else. Even though the girl's clothes aren't sophisticated, you wouldn't know it by the other students' reactions. They smile at her openly and greet her pleasantly, and the girl feels very welcome.

A half-dozen kids clamor for the opportunity to show her to her next class. As she walks down the hallway, a smiling vice-principal gently pats her on the shoulder and asks how she's feeling.

At the school cafeteria, several classmates join her for lunch. They talk with her about music, boys, and movies. She finds out that although these kids' interests and hobbies differ from those of her old friends, everyone is open to listening to her opinions.

At the end of the day, she leaves school and sees her mother waiting for her patiently in the parking lot. "How was your day?" she asks. The girl smiles and tells her it was just great.

(Fictional story via Tim Sanders)

i believe a world like that is possible.

but what would it take? what would it take for there to be a generation of students to live this out.

i think it would take a revolution.

it would almost be as if the Kingdom of God were here. in that city of Chicago... or wherever.