what will our baby BE?

crazy stoked our 1st child will be here REALLY soon. in just a couple months.



one of the things i'm probably MOST excited about in the next couple months before it gets here is that Crystal and i are gonna write what we want our child to BECOME and always focus our parenting for the next 18 years on those things.

Just 5-8 simple words like "Generous" or "Revolutionary" and focus our parenting and the experiences we provide on helping our child become that type of person.



this was an awesome suggestion from a tool we give new parents at Ridge Church in an attempt to partner with them. really thankful for that.



so, here's our rough draft. it's just an initial brainstorm list. a lot of them probably bleed over into each other. really wanna narrow these to 5-8 or even less. and would like for them to all be summed up in 1 word. would LOVE any of your thoughts!



LOVE - start with knowing he/she is LOVED by me, by Crystal.
then be overwhelmed with the amazing love of God. then pour out love to
ALL. no matter who it is = friend, family, all ethnicities, all
lifestyles, the OUTCAST, an ENEMY. live their life with the belief that LOVE WINS.



REVOLUTIONARY - radical. never satisfied with the status quo or the normal way that everyone else lives. a world changer. never worry about trying to "fit in" to an apathetic culture, but not be afraid to shake it up.



GENEROUS - i would really love our child to be a person who will GIVE, GIVE, GIVE all their lives. and if they give away too much [oxymoron]... oh well.



STORIES - i would love for our child to - from the very beginning - live a life worth telling stories about. to just GO FOR IT. go for the adventure. go have the experience. don't be timid. don't be SAFE. take RISKS. have some stories to tell.



POSITIVE - this will be a really fun challenge with the balance of power in our house with 1 eternal optimist & 1 "realist" [spelled "p-e-s-s-i-m-i-s-t"] :) haha, this will be fun. we'll see if it makes the final list. i would love our child to always believe the best... about every situation, every person, etc...



TRUST GOD - trust God no matter what. unwavering faith in a God who loves them more than they can imagine. live a life based on that radical trust.



JOY - unashamed and unbridled JOY in God. a radical pursuit of JOY in God's glory with a reckless abandon. + just a straight up enjoyment of life. it's just too short to not enjoy it. that would be silly. why do you think we're here? All about FUN all the time!



LIVE IT - authentic. just be. live. live what you believe because what you live IS what you believe. don't just talk about it, because talk is cheap. anybody can do that. live it.



THANKFUL - it's a destructive thing to not be thankful even for 1 minute. this child will have so much to be thankful for from its 1st minute on earth on... it will never catch up. it can spend a lifetime being thankful and never be thankful enough.



DREAMER - Dream BIG. not small. big vision. big goals. have a freedom to dream big and not listen to "naysayers".



RESPECTFUL - to us as parents starting out... to everyone though really.



UNIQUE - you be you. be who you are. whoever that is. i don't care. be the way God made you. Find your IDENTITY only ever and always in who God says you are in HIM.



WELCOMING - of all people all the time.



HUMBLE - this is a biggie and a toughie. i would love to help my child eradicate pride from its life. maybe it can help me. i want them to be Open Minded and never so arrogant that they think they have it figured out. i hope they never one time in life think they are "better than" anyone.



CORAGEOUS - do the right thing even if no one else is. don't back down on what you believe in. Risk! don't be afraid to FAIL. it's ok, just try it again.



SELFLESS - it's a great big world out there. lots of countries. lots of people. lots of needs. you are just one person. life is obviously NOT about you. how could we ever think that for even 1 second?



WISE - if they could somehow learn to make wise choices early on... wow.



PASSIONATE - i can't figure out another reason to wake up in the morning unless i'm passionate about something. i guess i really don't care what they end up being into - what the pursue, what activities they're involved in, what career they choose, etc.... just do whatever it is with PASSION!



RENOWN SPREADER - grow up to be a supporting cast member to the 1 renown that matters. have a desperate desire to be used by God. whatever that might look like for him/her individually.



BLESSING - we are BLESSED to be a blessing! we are so blessed & it is for no other reason than the grace of God that we are not a family living under a bridge with no food. only grace and the fact that we are blessed. so, if the reason we've been blessed so much is clearly to BE a blessing to others... why would we ever go through a day without being a BLESSING?





well, it's just a start, but we obviously have some trimming of the list to do.

skinny cows & fat cows

i've been reworking a lot of stuff with our budget recently. This past week Crystal and i were having a conversation about some of that budget stuff, what things were going to look like after the baby comes & she's not working, etc...

we had a lot of time to talk sitting in the parking lot that was 485.



i was explaining why i was putting such large chunks each month into the "Crystal's not working anymore fund" and said that basically we have "a lot of extra" now that we don't need... but soon we won't have any of that extra and will need to spend a lot more.

so, i'm setting aside extra we have in these times of "plenty" to prepare for the time of... less plenty. setting aside what we don't need now for when we will need it.

it's like Joseph's story really. There's a story in the Bible about how he interpreted Pharaoh's dreams about the 7 skinny cows and the 7 fat cows = basically there would be 7 years of plenty and then 7 years of famine.

So Joseph, being the wise guy that he was, saved up a lot during the 7 years of plenty so that they still had plenty in the 7 years of famine. great plan.



and then i said to Crystal... "except, it's like we'll be saving up for 7 months of plenty for the famine that will be the next 18 years."

kids are mean

i'm not sure who Joel is, but i saw this pic and thought out loud "sucks to be Joel."

and that sucks that it sucks to be Joel.
i don't know what Joel did or if we might all here the story and even not like Joel ourselves?

but this was written on the chalkboard in the child play area at a Caribou coffee here in Charlotte.
and seeing this really bummed me out.

because kids are REALLY mean.

i remember.

kids were really mean to me. and i was a really mean kid a lot of times too.

but I dream of a world that’s different… where “love wins”. EVEN with children!

i dream of a world where my child doesn't walk into a Caribou and see his/her name written in place of Joel's.
better yet i dream helping our child be a person who shows love and kindness instead of the opposite.

maybe it's possible. children can change.

can adults?
been mean lately?
shown love lately?

written anyone's name on a chalkboard?

we're having a baby!!! (part 2 and pics)

i was definitely SHOCKED when Crystal showed me the pregnancy test. just straight shock. no other thoughts in my head at that moment even though i'm usually extremely ADD. this announcement had my undivided attention.
and for a few minutes i just felt paralyzing shock.

as the shock wore off i mentioned yesterday that "crazy exited" and "freaked out" sum up the main 2 emotions we're feeling.
But what has truly overwhelmed my heart over the past 23 weeks or so are LOVE and THANKFULNESS.

i can't even believe how much my heart is filled up with love for this baby!

it really does not seem possible.

it's our son or daughter and it's amazing!
wow. i am floored.
i am overwhelmed with love for this child!

i didn't know i possessed the capacity for this kind of love.

when i see ultrasounds of our baby moving around... i can't figure out words to describe what i feel. here's a few pics that have had me in tears:

(whole body)

(butt)

(face)

i'm overwhelmed with love for this amazing person and i haven't even met them yet.
it's funny, because some days it still doesn't seem real.

& nope, we're not finding out the sex :)  it was what Crystal wanted to do, but i think it's pretty fun now. i'm guessing it's a boy, but i'm also wrong a lot.

i have no idea what's going on and what i'm supposed to do so i've read several books already. Crystal and i are reading The Baby Bump together month by month. she's almost 6 months now! that's insane...

The best other books i've read so far have been:
Pregnancy Sucks - For Men
both meant as a sequel to the famous Pregnancy Sucks + a statement... that pregnancy sucks for men.

The Guy's Guide to Surviving Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the First Year.

30 Things Every Future Dad Should Know about Pregnancy

all were helpful, but HONESTLY (and i pray i'm not jinxing myself...) nothing has been bad at all (for me) so far. Crystal has been amazing. not even a single mood swing i don't think. i hope they don't save it all up for like the last month or something.

gonna be a wild ride.

we're having a baby!!!

it still seems like some people don't know yet. they're gradually still finding out, so here's 1 more way to go public...

WE'RE HAVING A BABY! 

there. in all caps :)

it's wild, i know. i'm still dumbfounded a little bit.  
CRAZY EXCITED and FREAKED OUT still sum up our 2 main emotions... just as they did on that day we found out.

in fact here are a few pics from that day we learned the news ourselves. Crystal made darn sure with the pregnancy tests... 3rd time is a charm i guess.

i was actually on the phone up in my office when she came to talk to me with an extremely serious look on her face. she said "i need you to come downstairs right now." i figured either i was in big trouble or the dog, jack bauer was.

i guess i was kind of in big trouble! but in a good way. here is the 1st couple pics of us after we learned this news that will radically change our lives.

i remember we stopped right there immediately in the middle of the kitchen that night and PRAYED. couldn't think of anything else to do. i remember praying... declaring that we desperately needed God's help. and THANKS for this amazing blessing!

we're trying to pray together for this baby every single night. and we also try to pray for him/her constantly too. we pray that God use this baby for His renown to change the world! we pray that God would keep Crystal and the baby SAFE and healthy.
and we pray for wisdom because we have no idea what we're doing!

thankfully we each had awesome parents who modeled a lot of great things to do in parenting.

let the journey begin.